Acting out of Character when You are with Friends?

Have you ever noticed that you behave differently in certain social situations? For example, do you find yourself acting out of character when you're with a particular group of friends? This is not uncommon, and it can even manifest itself in dangerous ways, such as when you're behind the wheel of a car.

One of my clients, let's call him Tom, is a great example of this. Tom is generally a responsible driver, but when he's driving with his friends, he becomes much more reckless. He speeds, takes risks, and generally behaves in a way that puts himself and his passengers in danger. Tom is aware that this behavior is dangerous, but he struggles to control it.

So why does this happen? From a psychological perspective, it's likely that Tom is experiencing social facilitation. This is a phenomenon where people tend to perform better on simple tasks when they're in the presence of others, but worse on more complex tasks. In Tom's case, driving is a complex task that requires focus and attention, but when he's with his friends, he becomes more focused on impressing them than on driving safely.

To overcome this behavior, it's important for Tom to recognize when he's experiencing social facilitation and to take steps to mitigate its effects. This could involve avoiding situations where he feels pressure to perform, such as driving with his friends, or finding ways to redirect his attention to the task at hand, such as listening to calming music or focusing on his breath.

It's also important for Tom to address the underlying psychological factors that may be contributing to his behavior. For example, he may be seeking validation and acceptance from his friends, or he may be struggling with anxiety or low self-esteem. By working with a therapist, Tom can gain insight into these issues and develop strategies for managing them.

In conclusion, if you find yourself behaving recklessly or out of character in certain social situations, it's important to recognize the role of social facilitation and to take steps to address it. This may involve avoiding certain situations or finding ways to redirect your attention, as well as addressing underlying psychological factors with the help of a therapist.

References:

Zajonc, R. B. (1965). Social facilitation. Science, 149(3681), 269-274.

Bond, C. F., & Titus, L. J. (1983). Social facilitation: A meta-analysis of 241 studies. Psychological bulletin, 94(2), 265-292.

Goudie, R. J., & Maddox, W. T. (2020). Social facilitation and social inhibition of cognition in natural settings: A meta-analysis. Psychonomic bulletin & review, 27(1), 82-106.