Is Joe Goldberg Really Just Chaotic Evil? A Psychologist’s Take on Netflix’s Most Charming Predator

When Netflix’s You first dropped, it wasn’t just the twisted plot or Penn Badgley’s piercing stares that kept us hooked — it was the discomforting intimacy of hearing Joe Goldberg’s internal monologue… and realizing we were starting to empathize with him.

But recently, something curious happened: in You Season 5, the show introduced Dungeons & Dragons-style alignment labels like Chaotic Evil and Lawful Neutral — sparking a deeper question:

Is Joe Goldberg really chaotic evil? Or is there a much more disturbing, and psychologically complex, truth behind his behavior?

As a psychologist (and yes, a binge-watcher), I couldn’t resist diving in. Let’s dissect the mind of Joe — through clinical lenses, alignment theory, and our own uncomfortable attraction to dangerous people.

Joe Goldberg: Chaotic Evil or Complex Narcissist?

In classic alignment terms:

• Chaotic Evil: Driven by selfish desires, no regard for law, order, or morality — just pure chaos.

• Lawful Evil: Has a twisted moral code but sticks to it.

• Neutral Evil: Pragmatic villain — does what benefits them.

Joe isn’t chaotic just for fun — he believes in his own narrative of love. He kills for love. He stalks for connection. He covers up murder because he believes he’s doing the right thing.

That’s not chaotic. That’s delusional moral justification — a hallmark of certain personality structures.

Clinical Breakdown: Joe Through a Psychological Lens

1. Narcissistic Personality Traits

Joe sees himself as the hero of every story. His partners are never equals — they’re objects he places on pedestals. When they fail to meet his fantasy? He punishes them.

• Grandiose belief that he’s more “pure” than others

• Requires admiration (even if through fear or control)

• Lacks genuine empathy — though he simulates it well

2. Antisocial Features

Not full-blown ASPD, but he checks several boxes:

• Repeated lawbreaking

• Deceit, manipulation

• Lack of remorse (masked by rationalizations)

But what separates him from textbook antisocial types is how desperately he wants to be good. He tries to justify. That’s the terrifying part.

3. Disorganized Attachment + Childhood Trauma

Joe’s early abuse and abandonment fuel his intense fear of rejection and his need to control romantic partners.

• Disorganized attachment = push-pull dynamic with love and violence

• Abandonment leads to obsessive possession, not genuine connection

The Unreliable Narrator — and the Viewer’s Blind Spot

Joe’s most dangerous weapon? His internal monologue.

We hear his rationalizations. We get context. We see him hold babies and cry while he’s burying bodies.

This intimacy tricks our brains into building a parasocial bond.

You’re not just watching Joe — you’re being spoken to by him.

And that makes his gaslighting even more effective… on us.

Why Are We Attracted to Joe?

Let’s be honest — if Joe looked like a greasy basement-dweller, we’d call the cops in Episode 1.

But he’s attractive, reads books, makes artisanal coffee, and saves a child from abuse.

This is the “hot sociopath effect”:

• We project our desires onto them

• We confuse emotional intensity with passion

• We excuse red flags because… “he’s just misunderstood”

There’s even research supporting this: People high in Dark Triad traits (narcissism, Machiavellianism, psychopathy) are often rated as more attractive, especially in short-term mating contexts (Jonason & Webster, 2010).

So… What Is Joe?

He’s not chaotic evil.

He’s far scarier.

He’s the well-intentioned villain who genuinely believes he’s saving the people he destroys. He’s a cocktail of narcissistic injury, unresolved trauma, and weaponized charm.

Joe isn’t terrifying because he kills.

He’s terrifying because he thinks he’s the good guy — and he almost makes you believe it too.

Final Thoughts (For the Psych Nerds)

Want to dig deeper?

Here are a few academic lenses worth exploring:

• Hare Psychopathy Checklist

• Object Relations Theory (he splits partners into perfect or toxic)

• Erotomania (delusional belief that someone loves you)

• Cognitive Dissonance Theory (the viewer’s moral confusion)

Want More Psychology x Pop Culture Deep Dives?

If this post got your brain buzzing, share it with someone who still thinks Joe Goldberg is just “misunderstood” (we need to talk to them 😅).

Got a character, show, or story you’d like me to analyze next? Leave a comment below or reach out — I’d love to unpack it with you.

👉 For more weekly insights into the psychology of love, identity, obsession, and everything in between, visit www.DrGoh.net/blog

Let’s turn binge-watching into brain fuel 🖤

Either way, stay aware of who’s narrating your story — and whether they think you’re a character to be loved… or controlled.

💋