Understanding Compersion: The Psychology of Finding Joy in Your Partner's Happiness

The term "compersion" was coined by the Kerista Commune, a communal-living group based in San Francisco in the 1970s. The term was later popularized within the polyamorous community. Compersion is a term used in polyamorous relationships to describe the feeling of happiness and joy that one partner experiences when their partner is involved in a romantic or sexual relationship with someone else. This term is often contrasted with jealousy, which is a common emotion experienced in monogamous relationships when a partner is involved with someone else.

From a psychological perspective, compersion can be understood as an example of positive emotional contagion, which occurs when the emotional state of one person spreads to another person, leading to a similar emotional state. The emotional contagion theory suggests that humans are wired to empathize with others and experience similar emotions as those around us. When we witness our partner experiencing joy and happiness, it can evoke similar positive emotions in us, leading to feelings of compersion.

Additionally, compersion can be seen as an example of the broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. This theory suggests that positive emotions, such as joy and happiness, broaden our attention and cognitive processes, allowing us to think more creatively and flexibly. This cognitive flexibility can help us to build stronger and more resilient relationships, both with our partners and with others in our lives.

It is important to note that compersion is not necessarily a universal experience and may not be felt by everyone in polyamorous relationships. Some individuals may struggle with feelings of jealousy or insecurity when their partner is involved with someone else, and may need additional support and guidance to navigate these emotions in a healthy and productive way.

Overall, compersion is an interesting and complex emotional experience that can provide insight into the nature of human emotions and relationships. By understanding the psychological processes underlying compersion, we can develop a deeper appreciation for the range of emotions and experiences that can arise in romantic and sexual relationships.

References:

Bagozzi, R. P., Gopinath, M., & Nyer, P. U. (1999). The role of emotions in marketing. Journal of the Academy of Marketing Science, 27(2), 184-206.

Fredrickson, B. L. (2004). The broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society of London. Series B: Biological Sciences, 359(1449), 1367-1378.

Konrath, S., & Brown, S. L. (2013). The effects of giving on givers. In The Oxford handbook of prosocial behavior (pp. 248-262). Oxford University Press.

Sheff, E. (2015). The polyamorists next door: Inside multiple-partner relationships and families. Rowman & Littlefield Publishers.