Cultivating Genuine Self-Esteem: Moving Beyond Contingent Self-Worth

Self-esteem, a central concept in the field of psychology, has been the focus of extensive research and discussion. Two types of self-esteem are commonly distinguished: contingent self-esteem and genuine self-esteem. In this blog post, we will explore the differences between these two types of self-worth and offer strategies for cultivating genuine self-esteem.

Contingent vs. Genuine Self-Esteem

Contingent self-esteem refers to the type of self-worth that is based on external factors, such as achievements, social approval, or physical appearance (Kernis, 2003). When our self-esteem is contingent, it fluctuates depending on how well we perform in these areas or how much approval we receive from others. This type of self-esteem can be fragile, as it is vulnerable to external setbacks and criticism (Deci & Ryan, 1995).

Genuine self-esteem, on the other hand, is a more stable and enduring sense of self-worth that is based on one's inherent value as a person (Crocker & Park, 2004). This type of self-esteem is less dependent on external validation and more focused on internal qualities, such as personal values, character strengths, and self-acceptance. As a result, genuine self-esteem is more resilient to external challenges and better supports psychological well-being (Neff, 2011).

Developing Genuine Self-Esteem

Cultivate self-compassion

Kristin Neff (2011) argues that self-compassion is a crucial component of genuine self-esteem. It involves treating oneself with kindness, understanding, and forgiveness, even during difficult times or when we make mistakes. Practicing self-compassion can help us accept our imperfections and recognize our inherent worth as human beings, independent of external achievements or approval.

Develop self-awareness

Understanding our strengths, weaknesses, values, and motivations can help us build a solid foundation for genuine self-esteem. Reflecting on our experiences and engaging in practices such as journaling or mindfulness meditation can support the development of self-awareness (Brown & Ryan, 2003).

Set realistic and intrinsic goals

Setting goals that are based on our authentic interests and values, rather than seeking external validation or approval, can promote genuine self-esteem (Deci & Ryan, 2000). These intrinsic goals are more likely to be fulfilling and sustainable, as they reflect our true selves and desires.

Foster secure attachment

Research has shown that secure attachment, characterized by feelings of safety and trust in relationships, can support the development of genuine self-esteem (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2010). Building secure attachment involves cultivating open communication, empathy, and emotional attunement with oneself and others.

Engage in meaningful activities

Engaging in activities that align with our values and provide a sense of purpose can contribute to genuine self-esteem (Steger, 2009). This might involve volunteering, pursuing hobbies, or participating in community projects that reflect our interests and passions.

In a Nutshell

Developing genuine self-esteem involves focusing on internal qualities and values, rather than relying on external validation or achievements. By cultivating self-compassion, self-awareness, intrinsic goals, secure attachment, and meaningful activities, we can build a stable and enduring sense of self-worth that supports psychological well-being and resilience.

References

Brown, K. W., & Ryan, R. M. (2003). The benefits of being present: Mindfulness and its role in psychological well-being. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(4), 822–848.

Crocker, J., & Park, L. E. (2004). The costly pursuit of self-esteem. Psychological Bulletin, 130(3), 392–414.

Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (1995). Human autonomy: The basis for true self-esteem. In M. H. Kernis (Ed.), Efficacy, agency, and self-esteem (pp. 31–49). Springer.

Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). The "what" and "why" of goal pursuits: Human needs and the self-determination of behavior. Psychological Inquiry, 11(4), 227–268.

Kernis, M. H. (2003). Toward a conceptualization of optimal self-esteem. Psychological Inquiry, 14(1), 1–26.

Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2010). Attachment in adulthood: Structure, dynamics, and change. Guilford Press.

Neff, K. D. (2011). Self-compassion, self-esteem, and well-being. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 5(1), 1–12.

Steger, M. F. (2009). Meaning in life. In S. J. Lopez & C. R. Snyder (Eds.), Oxford Handbook of Positive Psychology (2nd ed., pp. 679–687). Oxford University Press.

The Emotional Rollercoaster of COVID-19 Patients: Navigating Fear and Isolation

As of today (April 16th, 2023), many countries are reporting spikes in COVID-19 cases.

The COVID-19 pandemic has had a significant impact on the lives of millions of people worldwide. Not only has it led to loss of life and economic hardships, but it has also caused emotional distress for those who have contracted the virus. In this blog post, we will discuss the emotional experiences of COVID-19 patients when their family members show signs of fear and avoid contact. We will explore the psychological concepts at play and provide references for further reading.

Social Isolation and Loneliness

As COVID-19 is a highly contagious virus, patients are often required to self-isolate or be hospitalized to prevent the spread of the disease. This isolation can lead to feelings of loneliness and emotional distress. According to Cacioppo and Hawkley (2009), loneliness has been linked to various mental and physical health issues, including depression, anxiety, and cardiovascular disease.

When family members exhibit fear and avoid contact with the patient, this social isolation is exacerbated. This fear-driven behavior can lead to an increased sense of isolation for the patient, as they may feel rejected or stigmatized (Brooks et al., 2020).

Coping Mechanisms

During these trying times, individuals may employ various coping mechanisms to deal with the emotional challenges they face. According to Lazarus and Folkman's (1984) transactional model of stress and coping, people use different strategies to manage their emotional responses to a stressor. These strategies can be classified as problem-focused (addressing the problem directly) or emotion-focused (managing emotional responses).

In the case of COVID-19 patients, problem-focused coping may involve seeking medical treatment and following health guidelines to recover from the virus. Emotion-focused coping may involve seeking emotional support from friends or family, engaging in mindfulness practices, or using distraction techniques to shift focus away from the fear and isolation.

The Importance of Social Support

Social support is a crucial factor in helping individuals cope with stress and maintain psychological well-being (Cohen & Wills, 1985). For COVID-19 patients, the fear and avoidance displayed by family members can significantly impact the availability of social support.

To overcome this challenge, patients may turn to alternative sources of support, such as online support groups or mental health professionals. Virtual communication platforms can also help maintain connections with family members while respecting the need for physical distancing.

To Recap

The emotional experience of COVID-19 patients when faced with fear and avoidance from family members can be characterized by feelings of loneliness, rejection, and increased stress. It is essential for patients to find alternative sources of support and employ effective coping strategies to manage their emotional well-being during these challenging times. Further research on the long-term effects of the pandemic on mental health is necessary to develop targeted interventions for those affected.

References:

Brooks, S. K., Webster, R. K., Smith, L. E., Woodland, L., Wessely, S., Greenberg, N., & Rubin, G. J. (2020). The psychological impact of quarantine and how to reduce it: rapid review of the evidence. The Lancet, 395(10227), 912-920.

Cacioppo, J. T., & Hawkley, L. C. (2009). Perceived social isolation and cognition. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 13(10), 447-454.

Cohen, S., & Wills, T. A. (1985). Stress, social support, and the buffering hypothesis. Psychological Bulletin, 98(2), 310-357.

Lazarus, R. S., & Folkman, S. (1984). Stress, appraisal, and coping. Springer Publishing Company.

The Psychology of Survival: Deconstructing 'Outlast' on Netflix

The Netflix series "Outlast" has captured the attention of viewers around the world, showcasing a group of individuals as they strive to survive in a remote environment with limited resources. As a psychologist, I find the show a fascinating case study for examining human behavior and decision-making in extreme situations. In this post, I will delve into the psychological concepts underlying the participants' behavior, specifically focusing on the incident where they stole sleeping bags and justified their actions, and the steadfast righteousness displayed by some participants.

Social Identity Theory and In-Group Favoritism (Tajfel & Turner, 1979)

When people are placed in situations where they have to form alliances to survive, they often develop a strong sense of social identity. The Social Identity Theory posits that individuals categorize themselves and others into in-groups and out-groups based on shared characteristics, such as goals or values. This categorization leads to in-group favoritism, where individuals are more likely to support and defend members of their own group.

In "Outlast," participants formed alliances based on their perceived shared values and objectives. These alliances may have led them to feel a strong sense of loyalty and protectiveness toward their in-group members. As a result, when faced with the harsh reality of surviving in the wilderness without adequate resources, they may have rationalized stealing sleeping bags as a means of protecting and supporting their in-group.

Moral Disengagement and Cognitive Dissonance (Bandura, 1999; Festinger, 1957)

When faced with the decision to steal sleeping bags, participants likely experienced cognitive dissonance, a psychological state characterized by holding two conflicting beliefs, values, or attitudes. In this case, the participants knew that stealing was wrong, but they also believed that they needed to protect their in-group.

To resolve this dissonance, the participants may have employed moral disengagement, a psychological process that allows individuals to justify morally questionable actions by reinterpreting the behavior, consequences, or victims involved (Bandura, 1999). By convincing themselves that stealing the sleeping bags was necessary for survival, participants were able to reconcile their conflicting beliefs and minimize feelings of guilt or shame.

The Bystander Effect and Group Dynamics (Latané & Darley, 1968)

Another factor contributing to the participants' behavior in "Outlast" is the bystander effect, which posits that individuals are less likely to intervene in a situation or take responsibility when others are present. This effect can be attributed to two primary factors: diffusion of responsibility, where people believe that someone else will take action, and social influence, where individuals look to others' behavior to determine the appropriate response.

In the context of "Outlast," the bystander effect may have played a role in the decision to steal sleeping bags. Participants who were hesitant about the act might have been swayed by the actions or inaction of others, assuming that if no one else was objecting, then the behavior must be acceptable. This dynamic highlights the powerful influence that group dynamics can have on individual decision-making, particularly in high-stress situations where survival is at stake.

The Role of Righteousness in Survival Situations

Despite the moral disengagement exhibited by some participants, others remained steadfast in their commitment to righteousness, refusing to engage in unethical behavior even when it seemed advantageous. This behavior can be explained through the concept of moral identity (Aquino & Reed, 2002), which refers to the extent to which moral traits are central to an individual's self-concept. Those with a strong moral identity may prioritize moral values over personal gain, leading them to uphold their ethical principles even in challenging situations.

The Importance of Resilience and Adaptability (Masten, 2001)

While the series showcases various psychological phenomena, it also emphasizes the importance of resilience and adaptability in survival situations. Resilience refers to an individual's ability to adapt to adversity and maintain psychological well-being, while adaptability refers to the capacity to adjust to new or changing circumstances.

Participants who demonstrated resilience and adaptability were better equipped to handle the challenges they faced in "Outlast," such as limited resources, extreme weather conditions, and interpersonal conflicts. These traits allowed them to maintain their psychological and emotional stability, enabling them to make more effective decisions and ultimately increasing their chances of survival.

In a nutshell, "Outlast" serves as a fascinating exploration of human behavior under extreme conditions, illustrating a variety of psychological concepts at play. By understanding these concepts, we can gain valuable insights into how individuals cope, adapt, and make decisions in high-stress situations. As we continue to watch and analyze the participants' experiences, we can reflect on our own psychological tendencies and consider how we might respond in similar circumstances.

References:

Aquino, K., & Reed, A. (2002). The self-importance of moral identity. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 83(6), 1423-1440.

Bandura, A. (1999). Moral disengagement in the perpetration of inhumanities. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 3(3), 193-209.

Festinger, L. (1957). A theory of cognitive dissonance. Stanford University Press.

Latané, B., & Darley, J. M. (1968). Group inhibition of bystander intervention in emergencies. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 10(3), 215-221.

Masten, A. S. (2001). Ordinary magic: Resilience processes in development. American Psychologist, 56(3), 227-238.

Tajfel, H., & Turner, J.C. (1979). An integrative theory of intergroup conflict. In W. G. Austin & S. Worchel (Eds.), The social psychology of intergroup relations (pp. 33-47). Brooks/Cole Publishing Company.