Is Joe Goldberg Really Just Chaotic Evil? A Psychologist’s Take on Netflix’s Most Charming Predator

When Netflix’s You first dropped, it wasn’t just the twisted plot or Penn Badgley’s piercing stares that kept us hooked — it was the discomforting intimacy of hearing Joe Goldberg’s internal monologue… and realizing we were starting to empathize with him.

But recently, something curious happened: in You Season 5, the show introduced Dungeons & Dragons-style alignment labels like Chaotic Evil and Lawful Neutral — sparking a deeper question:

Is Joe Goldberg really chaotic evil? Or is there a much more disturbing, and psychologically complex, truth behind his behavior?

As a psychologist (and yes, a binge-watcher), I couldn’t resist diving in. Let’s dissect the mind of Joe — through clinical lenses, alignment theory, and our own uncomfortable attraction to dangerous people.

Joe Goldberg: Chaotic Evil or Complex Narcissist?

In classic alignment terms:

• Chaotic Evil: Driven by selfish desires, no regard for law, order, or morality — just pure chaos.

• Lawful Evil: Has a twisted moral code but sticks to it.

• Neutral Evil: Pragmatic villain — does what benefits them.

Joe isn’t chaotic just for fun — he believes in his own narrative of love. He kills for love. He stalks for connection. He covers up murder because he believes he’s doing the right thing.

That’s not chaotic. That’s delusional moral justification — a hallmark of certain personality structures.

Clinical Breakdown: Joe Through a Psychological Lens

1. Narcissistic Personality Traits

Joe sees himself as the hero of every story. His partners are never equals — they’re objects he places on pedestals. When they fail to meet his fantasy? He punishes them.

• Grandiose belief that he’s more “pure” than others

• Requires admiration (even if through fear or control)

• Lacks genuine empathy — though he simulates it well

2. Antisocial Features

Not full-blown ASPD, but he checks several boxes:

• Repeated lawbreaking

• Deceit, manipulation

• Lack of remorse (masked by rationalizations)

But what separates him from textbook antisocial types is how desperately he wants to be good. He tries to justify. That’s the terrifying part.

3. Disorganized Attachment + Childhood Trauma

Joe’s early abuse and abandonment fuel his intense fear of rejection and his need to control romantic partners.

• Disorganized attachment = push-pull dynamic with love and violence

• Abandonment leads to obsessive possession, not genuine connection

The Unreliable Narrator — and the Viewer’s Blind Spot

Joe’s most dangerous weapon? His internal monologue.

We hear his rationalizations. We get context. We see him hold babies and cry while he’s burying bodies.

This intimacy tricks our brains into building a parasocial bond.

You’re not just watching Joe — you’re being spoken to by him.

And that makes his gaslighting even more effective… on us.

Why Are We Attracted to Joe?

Let’s be honest — if Joe looked like a greasy basement-dweller, we’d call the cops in Episode 1.

But he’s attractive, reads books, makes artisanal coffee, and saves a child from abuse.

This is the “hot sociopath effect”:

• We project our desires onto them

• We confuse emotional intensity with passion

• We excuse red flags because… “he’s just misunderstood”

There’s even research supporting this: People high in Dark Triad traits (narcissism, Machiavellianism, psychopathy) are often rated as more attractive, especially in short-term mating contexts (Jonason & Webster, 2010).

So… What Is Joe?

He’s not chaotic evil.

He’s far scarier.

He’s the well-intentioned villain who genuinely believes he’s saving the people he destroys. He’s a cocktail of narcissistic injury, unresolved trauma, and weaponized charm.

Joe isn’t terrifying because he kills.

He’s terrifying because he thinks he’s the good guy — and he almost makes you believe it too.

Final Thoughts (For the Psych Nerds)

Want to dig deeper?

Here are a few academic lenses worth exploring:

• Hare Psychopathy Checklist

• Object Relations Theory (he splits partners into perfect or toxic)

• Erotomania (delusional belief that someone loves you)

• Cognitive Dissonance Theory (the viewer’s moral confusion)

Want More Psychology x Pop Culture Deep Dives?

If this post got your brain buzzing, share it with someone who still thinks Joe Goldberg is just “misunderstood” (we need to talk to them 😅).

Got a character, show, or story you’d like me to analyze next? Leave a comment below or reach out — I’d love to unpack it with you.

👉 For more weekly insights into the psychology of love, identity, obsession, and everything in between, visit www.DrGoh.net/blog

Let’s turn binge-watching into brain fuel 🖤

Either way, stay aware of who’s narrating your story — and whether they think you’re a character to be loved… or controlled.

💋

Bare, But Not Broken: The Psychology of Nudity, Fantasy, and Freedom in a Conservative Culture

It Started With a Whisper in Session

He sat across from me, calm and sincere.

“I love being naked at home,” he said.

“Not in a sexual way… well, not always. It just feels like me. But lately, I’ve been thinking… is this wrong? What if someone found out?”

As a psychologist, I’ve learned that the most transformative moments often begin with a quiet admission. A preference. A private ritual. But underneath it all, there’s something deeper.

This client—an accomplished professional in his 30s—wasn’t doing anything illegal. He simply enjoyed being in his natural state at home. And yet, his voice carried guilt and caution, as though he’d just confessed to a crime.

Why?

Because he lives in Singapore.

Nudity Isn’t Just Physical—It’s Psychological

Being nude is more than a state of undress. Psychologically, it touches on:

• Body image

• Autonomy

• Shame and morality

• Sensory regulation

• Erotic identity

Research shows that voluntary, non-sexual nudity—like in naturist communities—can improve body image and self-acceptance (West, 2018). Even brief nude experiences are linked to more positive attitudes toward one’s body and lower social physique anxiety.

For many, being nude at home isn’t about sex. It’s about freedom. Freedom from brands, expectations, and performance. Just… being.

But in Asia, Nudity Equals Taboo

In conservative Asian societies, nudity is deeply policed—legally, culturally, and emotionally.

In Singapore, Section 377B of the Penal Code makes it an offense to be seen naked even inside your home, if it’s visible from the outside. This reflects more than just public decency—it’s a legacy of colonial law, Confucian values, and a cultural emphasis on discipline and control.

To many Asian families, the body is something to be hidden, managed, and “kept decent.” Nudity often becomes associated with:

• Shame

• Vulnerability

• Rebellion

But beneath that social conditioning, many quietly crave a place to breathe, stretch, and simply exist—without layers.

Where Fantasy Enters: Exposure, Desire, and the Erotic Mind

My client went deeper:

“Sometimes I fantasize about being seen. Or receiving oral sex after a naked run. It’s not about cheating. It’s about being desired. Fully, as I am.”

These kinds of fantasies are more common than most admit. They’re not necessarily about the act—they’re about symbolic needs:

• To be seen and accepted

• To be wanted at your most vulnerable

• To break rules safely, without harm

• To feel fully human and fully desired

This taps into the limbic system (the emotional/pleasure center), combining novelty, risk, and attention. It’s not perversion—it’s psychological play.

So What’s Healthy, and What’s Not?

Healthy expressions:

• Feeling comfortable nude in private

• Using nudity to self-regulate or meditate

• Exploring fantasies in imagination or journaling

• Respecting personal, legal, and social boundaries

What to be mindful of:

• Urges to expose oneself to others without consent

• Fantasies becoming distressing or compulsive

• Shame spirals that interfere with daily functioning

Nudity and fantasy are not the enemy. Suppression without understanding is.

Living Nude in a Conservative Society: Is It Possible?

Yes. But it requires mindfulness.

The goal isn’t to rebel recklessly or hide in shame—it’s to integrate. To create a life where you can feel free and safe.

Some ideas:

• Set up private rituals at home (nude yoga, meditation, mindful walks)

• Travel to body-positive places like Japanese onsens or Spanish naturist beaches

• Explore your thoughts in therapy without judgment

• Connect with others who value authenticity, not just appearances

Final Thoughts

You can be fully clothed and feel completely exposed.

And you can be utterly nude and feel safe, seen, and whole.

In a world that tells us to cover up, shut down, and follow the rules, embracing your body—imperfect, sensual, alive—can be an act of quiet rebellion.

To my client, and to anyone who has ever wondered if it’s okay to enjoy the feeling of being nude:

You’re not broken. You’re just human.

And there is nothing more beautiful than that.

References

West, K. (2018). Naked and unashamed: Investigations and applications of the effects of naturist activities on body image, self-esteem, and life satisfaction. Journal of Happiness Studies, 19(3), 677–697. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10902-016-9833-6

Lieberman, D. (2013). The Story of the Human Body: Evolution, Health, and Disease. Pantheon Books.

→ Explores how modern behaviors (including clothing and body restriction) can clash with our evolutionary design.

Gough, B., & Edwards, G. (1998). The Beer Talking: Four lads challenge masculinity. The Sociological Review, 46(3), 409–435.

→ Discusses how male body norms and nudity are policed in social settings.

Lomas, T., Et al. (2020). The Psychology of Nudity: An Exploratory Review. Body Image, 33, 25–34. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2020.02.004

→ A review of psychological responses to nudity, from vulnerability to empowerment.

Winding Time, Wearing Self: The Psychology of Watches in a Digital Age

In a world where we measure value by likes, steps, and heart rate variability, our relationship with timepieces has quietly evolved. What once sat on our wrists as symbols of status and legacy now doubles as mirrors—reflecting our routines, emotions, and health metrics back at us.

This is a story not about watches—but about ourselves, and how we define connection in an era where technology knows our pulse better than we do.

1. The Mechanical Ritual: Craft Meets Control

Wearing a mechanical watch is a ritual.

You wind it, you listen.

You feel the rotor respond to your movement—like a pet that purrs only when you engage with it.

It doesn’t need you to function—but it feels alive when you care for it.

It symbolizes mastery, wealth, and permanence.

In psychological terms, it’s an externalized self-concept: “I wear this because it reflects who I am—or who I want to be.”

2. The Apple Ultra 2: The Attachment of Utility

The Apple Watch doesn’t need you to wind it—but it asks for something even more intimate:

a charge from your life to extend its own.

And in return? It gives you data.

Steps, sleep, stress, workouts, even emotions through heart rate variability.

It’s a reciprocal relationship—a biofeedback loop.

Where the mechanical watch says, “Admire me,”

the Ultra 2 says, “Let me know you.”

You don’t wear it to show off.

You wear it because it helps you live better.

And that creates a different kind of attachment—less about ego, more about safety and care.

3. The Mimetic Dilemma: Prestige vs Purpose

Mimetic desire teaches us that we want what others want.

The Patek on your wrist whispers to the world: “He’s made it.”

But the Apple Watch on your other wrist is whispering to you: “How are you feeling today?”

This duality creates tension:

Do we wear watches for validation—or for actual utility?

Do we crave admiration—or insight?

Conclusion:

The Apple Watch may not have a tourbillon.

But it knows when your heart is racing.

It doesn’t come with a Geneva Seal—but it might just help you avoid a burnout.

So perhaps the real luxury today… is being understood.